"Would I be out of line if I said... I miss you!"

I have never been alone in my whole life. I mean, sure I've been alone...there are days when everyone needs to be alone. But, ever since I was a kid, I always had my sisters and brother, my best friends, my mom. When I was in college, I always had my roomates, and friends... someone to always keep me company at night. When I was on my mission I was with the compy 24/7!! After the mission there was my family again... I literally have NEVER been alone... but that was usually fine with me, becasue I love to be kept company. I need the company of someone near me, even if there is no interaction... just knowing that someone is next to me, keeps me content. Now that I am married, I have the best companion I could have ever asked for. He is the best friend that I'd been searching for... I eat, sleep, and breath Jorge. haha, sound dramatic? Well Um, pretty much he is part of my cardiovascular system, respiratory system, nervous system... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't live without him! Maybe it is newly-wed talk... but I honestly don't think so. I'm addicted through and through and there is no overcoming it.

This past week has been TORTURE for me. :( My love has been out of town on a business trip since early saturday morning. *tear* It is torture to not have him come home at night after work, to have to eat alone, go to bed alone, wake up alone... He is not here to bring happiness into the home, to make me laugh, to randomly grab me and start dancing, to pop my back, to hear his cute english expressions, to sing with me, to hold hands with me, hug me or kiss me... It's been so hard!! I'm going through Jorge withrawls!! But, I'm holding on because he is an addiction I don't want to cured of. I've really had to rely on the Lord to get me through this week. It's felt like an eternity. I've learned a lot about myself, what I want out of life and how to really VALUE what you have. I love Jorge and I'm so thankful for the joy he brings into my life. Without him, life would be meaningless.

(I'm also thankful to the friends I've made here in Camacari... they have also helped the week go by somewhat easier.)

But I can't wait for him to come home tomorrow. Vai ter FESTA! woo-hoo! I don't think I could have been able to stand it one more day. What do you do when your desperately inlove? What do you do when you sleep with the shirt he wore the day before he left just because it has his smell on it? What do you do when all you can do is look at his pictures, watch videos of him and listen to Incubus "I miss you" over and over and over and over again?

"To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.

I see your picture, I smell your smell on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten [7] days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you"


Am I pathetic? No...its not like I'm pathetic, I havn't lost my identity by getting married... I'm still the same Krista who was single for the past 26 years, its just that being married I also found a new identity that in MANY ways has made me stronger, and that new identity is him! He has made me stronger and when he's not here, I feel weaker. He's my other half. How do you live with only half of you? You can't... you need your FULL you. Does that make sense? I don't even know if this is making sense... I probably should just stop talking and thinking now before people worry that I am crazy. I'm not, okay? I just miss Jorge... Okay bye!