Thursday, January 29, 2009

New chapter: "What's going on, life?"

So most of  you don't know my current situation. It all changed so fast.  Last thursday I was in Brazil by my husband's side happy as could be, and today, this thursday, I am back in Boise and NOT by my husband's side.  A string of events took place that created our current situation. I'll try to explain it the best I can. 

While Jorge was in Sao Roque (never neverland...) he spent his 30th birthday there. His age weighed heavily on him and his ambitions for life that hadn't been fufilled yet, he did not enjoy his job anymore, was unhappy there which lead him into serious life reflection. Together we had made goals for him to finish his degree in HR administration (which will be done this june),  for him to speak english fluently (he is working so hard!:) and at the end of the year, or more truthfully it was "SOMEDAY" go back to the USA to finish my degree and for Jorge to start a degree here as well.  These were all great goals, and some were to be acheived sooner than others. BUT, while he was carried away into deep reflection, upon his return home from working far away we had a discussion where he told me that it would be much better to get our life started in the USA SOONER than later, because we're both not getting any younger, and the idea of being 30 really freaked him out. haha... but it's true. There is always opportunity where there is faith in the Lord, but, still he was afraid that those doors of opportunity would soon start to shut if we procrastinated fulfilliing our goals for a few more years. **and Iwould just like to say how much I admire my husband's ambition and his unwillingness to just "settle", but to reach and strive to be better**
So, then we decided that we would go back to the U.S in June after his graduation.  I figured that his immigration papers would take a few months at least, so we started to figure out the process, and visited the consulate to get more info on the matter. There, we were shockingly advised that for me to be able to petition for his entry into the U.S, I would have to send the petition FROM the United States because I was not a permanent resident of Brazil. Anyway... it's a long boring story full of a bunch of bureaucratic policy and procedures, but either way I would have to be in the US to get my husband's immigration visa. 

SOO... we had a big decision to make.  Either we 1. Stay in Brazil forever 2.  Stay in Brazil and apply for my permanant residency and wait for that to go through before I am able to petition for his entry (who knows how long that would take)  or 3. Me return to the U.S alone and get everything going for him... paper work, a job, a house to live in, college...etc.

Option number one would go against the goals we set for our life. Option number two would put a major set-back on the goals we set for our life and option  number three would be the logical thing to do... but it would just be horrible to be seperated before we even reached our two month anniversery. I had been tested the week Jorge was away to see how I could deal with seperation from my husband... let me tell you,  that was probably one of the hardest things ever. I don't think I passed that test.  So H.F is giving us another "opportunity for growth"( so I have to keep reminding myself), to be able to acheive all the things we want for our lives, and to bless the lives of the people in our family and future family, we decided to go through with it.  We received answers to prayers quite quickly and I don't regret the decision we made, but I must say it is hard. The honeymoon is over... figuratively, and well, literally as well (at least for next few months). Life is hard and full of trials, but like my friend Rory reminded me in her blog awhile ago, that "trials are experiences that can bring refining."  I don't know the specifics of what the outcome will be for going through this, but I know the process is necessary and this will be a time to rely greatly on the Lord for strength and guidance. Life is too short to make the wrong choices, and with His help we can be guided to make the right ones. (I hope!!!...oh me of little faith...)
So, I am in Boise away from my husband, as hard as that is already, AND trying to get another semester of school under my belt, trying to find employment (good luck to me in this crisis) and find a roof over our heads that my husband and I can call a HOME. *SIGH*
Although I am far away from the one I love, it is soo nice to be with my family again, my mom has been SOO incredibly supportive and helpful and a nice distration from the lonliness that I sometimes feel.  Thanks to SKYPE, Jorge and I talk every single day, and that helps me be strong too.  He is like a sensitive teddy bear and I know he cries without me there... (hehe). But he is being the strong and steady priesthood holder, the optimist, the enthusiast, and my inspiration to continue on- to which I am grateful for because if he ever doubted for one minute or said to me "I miss you please come home"... I would be there the next day, no questions asked.  The seperation will be for our refining. And this is the new chapter in the life of the Andrade's. 

Friday, January 16, 2009

"Would I be out of line if I said... I miss you!"

I have never been alone in my whole life. I mean, sure I've been alone...there are days when everyone needs to be alone. But, ever since I was a kid, I always had my sisters and brother, my best friends, my mom. When I was in college, I always had my roomates, and friends... someone to always keep me company at night. When I was on my mission I was with the compy 24/7!! After the mission there was my family again... I literally have NEVER been alone... but that was usually fine with me, becasue I love to be kept company. I need the company of someone near me, even if there is no interaction... just knowing that someone is next to me, keeps me content. Now that I am married, I have the best companion I could have ever asked for. He is the best friend that I'd been searching for... I eat, sleep, and breath Jorge. haha, sound dramatic? Well Um, pretty much he is part of my cardiovascular system, respiratory system, nervous system... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't live without him! Maybe it is newly-wed talk... but I honestly don't think so. I'm addicted through and through and there is no overcoming it.

This past week has been TORTURE for me. :( My love has been out of town on a business trip since early saturday morning. *tear* It is torture to not have him come home at night after work, to have to eat alone, go to bed alone, wake up alone... He is not here to bring happiness into the home, to make me laugh, to randomly grab me and start dancing, to pop my back, to hear his cute english expressions, to sing with me, to hold hands with me, hug me or kiss me... It's been so hard!! I'm going through Jorge withrawls!! But, I'm holding on because he is an addiction I don't want to cured of. I've really had to rely on the Lord to get me through this week. It's felt like an eternity. I've learned a lot about myself, what I want out of life and how to really VALUE what you have. I love Jorge and I'm so thankful for the joy he brings into my life. Without him, life would be meaningless.

(I'm also thankful to the friends I've made here in Camacari... they have also helped the week go by somewhat easier.)

But I can't wait for him to come home tomorrow. Vai ter FESTA! woo-hoo! I don't think I could have been able to stand it one more day. What do you do when your desperately inlove? What do you do when you sleep with the shirt he wore the day before he left just because it has his smell on it? What do you do when all you can do is look at his pictures, watch videos of him and listen to Incubus "I miss you" over and over and over and over again?

"To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.

I see your picture, I smell your smell on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten [7] days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you"

Am I pathetic? No...its not like I'm pathetic, I havn't lost my identity by getting married... I'm still the same Krista who was single for the past 26 years, its just that being married I also found a new identity that in MANY ways has made me stronger, and that new identity is him! He has made me stronger and when he's not here, I feel weaker. He's my other half. How do you live with only half of you? You can't... you need your FULL you. Does that make sense? I don't even know if this is making sense... I probably should just stop talking and thinking now before people worry that I am crazy. I'm not, okay? I just miss Jorge... Okay bye!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

AND... Happy Birthday Kelsey!

I miss you and hope your birthday was super special.

Love you!

Happy Birthday Jorge

*Ding, Ding*
I'd like to make a toast: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORGE!! To the best husband in the world, I hope your next 30 years will be full of happiness,joy, success, adventures and prosperity. I am looking forward to sharing in those years with you, my eternal companion. I LOVE YOU!"

Love, Krista

Friday, January 9, 2009

Merry Christmas?

Okay I know I'm behind on my Christmas post, but here goes anyways.

PS. Don't you love this sweet kermit-the-frog-green brazilian couch?
It's a brazilian classic. haha. (not mine, don't worry)

This Christmas was definitely quite different than all the others.  I know Christmas is about the birth of our savior and the rememberance of this special event. But Christmas is also about tradition and family. This year for me,  there was no snow, no coldness, no familiar christmas carols, no pumpkin pie or sugar cookies, no 6ft christmas tree or house decorations, no service given to others, no charity, no Santa Clause, no gift exchange, no reading about the Savior's birth, or that holiday magic feeling. None of the usual american traditions of christmas were present this year for me. In fact, I had to keep reminding myself that christmas was even coming at all. BUT, the one thing this year had that all of my other christmas's never had before... The love of my life by my side. :)  This one thing makes up for all that lacked on Christmas. And as long as he is here, I'd take a million more just like it....  awwwwww... how cute! hahaaaaaaaaa.. just kidding, well, sort of. To be honest, I hope I never have another meaningless christmas like this again, ever. Because that is just what it was, meaningless.

  *** HOWEVER, our goal is to be HOME for good next year for Jorge to experience a REAL magical american Christmas***

Brazil is a very religious country in the catholic religion. But I was surprised to see the lack of religious activity during Christmas, among catholics and mormons alike. No one talked of Jesus Christ, or his birth or his life... not even in church, there was no christmas program, hymns, nothing!!  I discovered that Christmas in this country is for the rich to buy presents for their kids, for the poor to go on a drinking rave, and for everyone to get a day or two off of work. Christmas traditions here are WEAK if not non-existant. Christmas Eve was spent with Jorge's family who the majority aren't members of the church, but who ARE heavy drinkers love to listen to LOUD music and love to dance. hahaha...  I tried to be happy with the fact that this is a new experience, that I was with my new family whom I love dearly...but, without that special magic, the family traditions, that feeling in your heart and light of Christ... Christmas this year was a big thumb's down. 

But on the bright side, my eyes were opened and I am excited to start new traditions with my own family in the future. Traditions that are based around Christ and love, charity, giving of ourselves, service to others, family togetherness, understanding, fun, laughter and memories. These are the fruits and feelings that contribute to the magic of Christmas. I am so thankful for a husband that also understands the meaning of the season and also looks forward to starting special traditions together.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!!
Love you all!!
The Andrade's

PS. I tried to download a video that Jorge and I made for my family on Christmas Eve, but it is not wanting to download here. If you want to see it go to Youtube search and type in AndradeHotties, and you should see a few videos from us. haha...they are sort of retarded, but hey, they are us.